What Should Joe Have Done?

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There’s been a lot of discourse about what Joe Paterno should or could have done. He heard from a graduate assistant that his former colleague and friend had sexually assaulted a boy in the showers of his locker room. He did tell his superiors, which seems to be within the legal requirements of his role as an employee of the institution. And then, as far as anyone can tell, he ignored it.

When it all came out – and it always all comes out—Coach Paterno was a casualty. Not just his job, but his legacy as well.

I would say that Joe Paterno’s failure was a moral failure, a failure of virtue and character, a failure of courage. When confronted with perhaps the worst thing you could hear about a trusted colleague, he lacked what my high school football coach (who was a contemporary of Paterno) called “intestinal fortitude.” Coach Paterno himself said, “I wish I had done more.”

So what should Joe have done? I have a few suggestions:

First, he should have asked more questions. He is saying the allegations from the grad assistant weren’t very specific. Really? They could have been as specific as the questions the coach asked. You’re the head coach. This happened in your locker room. This guy was at least a colleague, if not a friend. You’d want to make sure you have a clear idea of what this guy saw. You know what he witnessed will likely ruin someone’s life. Shouldn’t you make sure you know as specifically as possible what happened?

After he reported it to his supervisors, the next thing he should have done is confronted his friend: “I heard this from a grad assistant. I don’t believe he is lying. What is going on?” Most guys know when they’re being lied to. I would put a lot of faith in a tenured football coach being a pretty good judge of this. Look your friend in the eye. Hold him accountable. “What are you doing?”

From here there are only two options: help your him confess his actions to the appropriate authorities – probably the police, with a lawyer in tow; or go to the police yourself if he won’t do it—or at least confirm with the school Athletic Director that the allegations have been reported to the police. The main thing is, make sure this guy won’t be around any more young boys until an investigation is complete.

As an aside, I have a feeling the coach lost a fair amount of sleep over this. You don’t hear this about a guy you’ve worked with for a long time and whom you trust as a human being and just brush it off after you report it up the chain of command. Maybe he talked to his wife about it. Maybe he kept it to himself and stewed. I don’t believe a man who has given his entire life to coaching young men to excellence lacks the moral core to be deeply disturbed by something like this.

For those boys and for Joe Paterno’s sake, I wish he’d had the courage to ask more questions, confront the person whose been accused of these acts, make sure it couldn’t continue, act in the best interests of those who couldn’t protect themselves. In a similar situation, I hope I do.

Coach Paterno let a lot of people down—most of all, the boys Sandusky had access to. I know he didn’t mean to. And with the life he’s lived, this failure of courage is not indicative of every decision he’s ever made. But it was a failure. And it will taint his legacy.

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Boots on the Ground

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I work for Man in the Mirror. Our vision is for every church to disciple every man. So we basically work with churches in any way we can to train up leaders, equip them with resources they can use to reach and disciple men, and provide support and encouragement to pastors.

Here's the thing: I'll often go and conduct a training for 10-20 churches, or conduct a men's event for 50 or 250 guys. And then the same thing happens every single time: I leave.

Man in the Mirror celebrated its 25th Anniversary earlier this year with a banquet. We invited Bruce Wilkinson to come speak, and he offered to spend some time with our staff and executive team beforehand and talk about vision.

He queried us about what might be keeping us from achieveing our vision -- EVERY church discipling EVERY man is a tall order!

We knew the answer. We've known it for 10 years. The problem is what happens at the end of every interaction we have with churches and leaders. We leave. To solve the problem, someone needs to stick around and help these churches and leaders do the hard work of implementing the strategy that we help them develop. We need "boots on the ground."

How many, Bruce asked. How many would it take?

We felt like maybe one leader for every 1,000 churches would be a good start - this also happens to coincide with about one per every million people. Or about 330.

Bruce said, That's what you need! You need to find that "one in a million" person. 

Of course, you can imagine our reaction: "Who? Us?" To which he basically responded, If not you, who?

That was the beginning of our efforts to recruit 330 Area Directors to work in 1,000-church territories around the country, recruiting leaders to help them work with churches who want to reach and disciple EVERY man they can.

We're looking for those "one in a million" people. Maybe you're one of them. Maybe you know someone who is. Go to this site: www.mimareadirectors.org and poke around. Watch the video, read the job description, see what "A Day in the Life of an Area Director" might be like. Then, if it's for you, click on the link to Take the Next Step.

Do me a favor: Share this blog post or the link above with someone you know who is passionate about men's discipleship and might consider a career change to do it full time.

Let's help every church disciple every man.

Book Review: Nelson's Biblical Cyclopedic Index: The Best Bible Subject Index Ever

I received this book from Nelson as part of their BookSneeze program. I enjoyed reading though it, and am happy to write a review of it.

This reference book has a lot going for it. It's compact and comprehensive, covering a ton of subject areas. However, these two characteristics together bring out its weakness. It's not particularly deep in any of its subject areas. So if you are a lay person who is building a reference library to help you in your own Bible Study, this is a great addition to that library. If you're a pastor or scholar, you've likely already got all of this information - and tons more - in your library.

Boulderpalooza 2011!

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What a difference a year makes!


Last year, Cassidy and I went to Gainesville Rock Gym for Boulderpalooza in great climbing shape. I won men's beginner, and she would have won advanced, but got bumped to Open and finished 4th.


This year, we were both out of climbing shape for sure. She finished out of the top 3 in Advanced, and I took 3rd in beginner, although I climbed pretty poorly. It's 2 days later and my forearms are still in agony! 


Good news is we had a fantastic time. Neither of us expected to do well, so the competition was much more about having fun. I also just enjoyed spending the day with my daughter. She didn't climb with me much, but we had a couple hours on either side for the ride up and back. A great time talking on the way back especially, as we discussed her future with school and what's going on with church and friends. 


Just an awesome all-around day with my teen-aged daughter. I am fully aware that there are less and less of those opportunities available. So I am grabbing every one I can!


I was pretty proud of the kids from our gym team too. They won all the adult male divisions, and one of the female adult divisions, as well as juniors. Way to go Team Aiguille!!!


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As long as Christ is preached...

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Have you ever questioned someone's motives for preaching the gospel? Been a little suspicious or even critical of their motives? I have, for sure.

Paul didn't care. 

It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. (Phil 1:15-18, written from imprisonment)

I can't tell you the number of times I see other people getting notoriety within Christendom that I don't feel jealous or cynical about their "success." It is a sign of my own pride, for sure. But having a higher focus - on seeing the gospel spread instead of getting credit for it - not only is more righteous, but a better way to live my life.


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Book Review - Living Life in the Zone

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Got this book to read by a freind of the ministry, Joe Pettigrew, and his friend and well-known sports personality, Kyle Rote, Jr. I'm reviewing it here for the BookSneeze program.

Living Life in the Zone is a good devotional book for men who are just starting out in their spiritual journey. There are four sections which cover the basic four areas of a Christian man's life: marriage, children, work and faith.

It is definitely oriented to the sports-minded guy. Each devotion has a key thought, a quote or text on a topic, some Biblical content and insight, questions for journaling or discussion, a call to action and prayer. It's basic biblical stuff, and maybe even a little too much at times for the type of guy who will be most interested in this type of book. But if a guy will stick with it, he will most likely find himself wanting to go deeper and deeper in his relationship with God.

A good, solid, basic devotional book with lots of sports references.

Buy it at http://tinyurl.com/2buswwk (Amazon)

The Marriage Prayer

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Spent the weekend in Houston. Got to share The Marriage Prayer at Friendswood Methodist with about a dozen couples on Friday night. It reminded me of the great scene from The Princess Bride...



On a serious note, The Marriage Prayer is a book, an evening couples event and an actual prayer. It reminds us of the importance of praying for our spouse every day, and of several keys to marriage:

Faithfulness, which brings security
Priority, that after God, our spouse should be our top priority
Purpose, to bring our spouse into God's presence
Unity, because we are one flesh
Attitude, we should encourage our spouse daily
and the Goal of Marriage - to bring God glory.

 I really enjoyed being with those couples and sharing about the struggles and triumphs in my own marriage.

But the GREATEST part of doing these is it reminds me how blessed I am to have a really, really wonderful wife.

The Clemmer family, Summer '10

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A Good Read...NYT: What is it about 20-somethings? & Driscoll's WP Response

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A great article in the New York Times about the 20-something generation. This article cites some empirical research. here's a excerpt:

One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year. Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. And marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation.

Mark Driscoll responded to this article with an op-ed in the Washington Post called The World is Filled with Boys Who Can Shave. He points out the impact of this specifically on men, challenging guys in their 20's to grow up. He challenges guys in this age bracket:

Men are supposed to be producers, not just consumers. You're defined by the legacy, the life, and the fruit that come out of you, not by what you take in. But most guys are just consumers.

Two great articles on this topic.

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Daily Read from the White Horse Inn blog: "Morally Therapeutic Deism"

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Great post from WHI about 'fake christianity' trend in our culture. Some would say Glenn Beck is in this camp, but I'm not sure.

From the blog post: "CNN online recently featured an article on Kenda Creasy Dean’s new book Almost Christian: What the Faith of Our Teenagers is Telliing the American Church (Oxford University Press, 2010)." Here's a quote cited from her book.

The problem does not seem to be that churches are teaching young people badly, but that we are doing an exceedingly good job of teaching youth what we really believe, namely, that Christianity is not a big deal, that God requires little, and the church is a helpful social institution filled with nice people…

Ouch!

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Why I don't like most blog posts...and why I really like some

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I manage the facebook page for Man in the Mirror, and I've started to post a message every morning called Your Morning Read. I look around for interesting blog posts or articles that I think the constituency of MIM would find helpful or interesting and give them a link.

As I have been looking for stuff to post, I realized that I have a reasonably simple set of criteria that I have been using to recommend a link. It's the same criteria I use to determine if I want to read something myself:
Relevance - This is the most obvious one. I read stuff that matters to me.
Writing - Poor writing quickly loses my interest.
Challenge - I love reading something that challenges me to think differently, be better, confront my own hypocrisy.
Length - Esoteric? Maybe. But this has become one of my crucial criteria. Do you have a lot of time to read blogs? People that talk just because they like the sound of their own voice bug me. I'm beginning to notice that about some bloggers as well, especially those who post daily. When a blog post goes on and on, I get the sense that it's just train of thought. Maybe there's some pressure to "meet deadline", and not enough editing time to put out a concise insight.
Self-contained - If I have to read too many previous postings to understand what this one is talking about, I lose interest.
Story - Take me somewhere. I will read previous postings if there is a narrative that is compelling. The best example I can give of this is the Wrestling with an Angel blog.
I could add other things as well: humor, a unique perspective, sarcasm (sometimes), humility.

So, I'll start posting some of these blogs here. Why say something that someone else can say better?  Look for those postings under, Your Daily Read. Enjoy!

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