Act Like a Man

I got the chance to teach the Man in the Mirror Bible Study a few weeks ago, and the video has now been posted online.

I love this passage of Scripture: "Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love." 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 (NIV). I like the ESV version too, which changes "be courageous":

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love.

The title of the Bible Study is Act Like a Man. I even gave the guys some hand motions to help them memorize the passage! (Come on, admit it. You remember the children's songs you learned with the hand motions the best.) They were pretty good sports about it, and I think most of them had it memorized by the time they left.

You can watch the video here.

I'm excited to be going to Houston in April to do a men's retreat for Sugarland UMC - taking this topic and expanding on it for the weekend.

Courage is an interesting topic to me. Andrew Jackson, the 7th president of the U.S. is credited with this quote:

"One man, with courage, is a majority."

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30 Things in 30 Months Blog

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Jake and I have created a blog to track our 30 Things in 30 Months project. Click the pic below to see the list and a chronicle of our adventures.

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30 Things in 30 Months - A "Bucket List" for My Teenage Son & Me

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I came to the realization a few weeks ago that my son, halfway through his sophomore year in high school, had about 30 months to go until he graduated. Soon after that, he will be gone - off to college, maybe never to live with us full time again. (A parent can dream, right?)

I was struck by how many places in my life I have good intentions, but I don't always follow through. I don't want to drop my son off at college with a bucketful of regrets - things I wished we had done, experiences I wished we had shared. So I set about to be intentional about mazimizing the time I have left with son living in my home as a teenager.

Another factor that I quickly needed to take into account is how different we are! I could think of something off the top of my head with my daughter, and she would likely say, "I was just thinking of that too!" But my son and I have very different temperaments and personalities. Thankfully, we both love Jesus and want to serve him. We just see the world differently sometimes. I've learned to embrace that - but that is another post for another time.

So, how could I be intentional about getting the most out of my time with my son, do it in a way that had the highest likelihood of actually happening, and do things that HE would really want to do, as opposed to what I think he should like to do!?!?

So here is what I came up with: 30 Things in 30 Months - A "Bucket List" for My Son's Remaining Years in High School. To be honest, I'm pretty sure the movie, The Bucket List and the TV show My Name is Earl influenced me, but who cares?

So I told him about the idea and -- here's the genius --  I put him in charge. I asked him to make a list of 30 things he'd like to do with me before he graduates from high school. In 3 days, he had 25. I'm sure it will go beyond 30, and we'll whittle it down.

Some things I was happy to see on the list - college road trip to Boston (where I grew up) and snowboarding. Some surprises to: he wants to find another father-son duo to read a Christian book together and meet weekly to talk about it.

I'm so grateful God whispered this idea in my ear (He uses all kinds of tools to speak to His kids). And I'm excited that my son pounced on the idea.

Now, my prayer is for follow through, and for finances - the kid's got some expensive ideas. But I am trusting God to provide these opportunities for meaningful experiences that my son (and I) can look back on in the years and decades ahead.

I'll post the list as soon as we have it. Maybe I'll include the things that didn't make the list as well.

With you in the Great Adventure,
Brett

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What Should Joe Have Done?

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There’s been a lot of discourse about what Joe Paterno should or could have done. He heard from a graduate assistant that his former colleague and friend had sexually assaulted a boy in the showers of his locker room. He did tell his superiors, which seems to be within the legal requirements of his role as an employee of the institution. And then, as far as anyone can tell, he ignored it.

When it all came out – and it always all comes out—Coach Paterno was a casualty. Not just his job, but his legacy as well.

I would say that Joe Paterno’s failure was a moral failure, a failure of virtue and character, a failure of courage. When confronted with perhaps the worst thing you could hear about a trusted colleague, he lacked what my high school football coach (who was a contemporary of Paterno) called “intestinal fortitude.” Coach Paterno himself said, “I wish I had done more.”

So what should Joe have done? I have a few suggestions:

First, he should have asked more questions. He is saying the allegations from the grad assistant weren’t very specific. Really? They could have been as specific as the questions the coach asked. You’re the head coach. This happened in your locker room. This guy was at least a colleague, if not a friend. You’d want to make sure you have a clear idea of what this guy saw. You know what he witnessed will likely ruin someone’s life. Shouldn’t you make sure you know as specifically as possible what happened?

After he reported it to his supervisors, the next thing he should have done is confronted his friend: “I heard this from a grad assistant. I don’t believe he is lying. What is going on?” Most guys know when they’re being lied to. I would put a lot of faith in a tenured football coach being a pretty good judge of this. Look your friend in the eye. Hold him accountable. “What are you doing?”

From here there are only two options: help your him confess his actions to the appropriate authorities – probably the police, with a lawyer in tow; or go to the police yourself if he won’t do it—or at least confirm with the school Athletic Director that the allegations have been reported to the police. The main thing is, make sure this guy won’t be around any more young boys until an investigation is complete.

As an aside, I have a feeling the coach lost a fair amount of sleep over this. You don’t hear this about a guy you’ve worked with for a long time and whom you trust as a human being and just brush it off after you report it up the chain of command. Maybe he talked to his wife about it. Maybe he kept it to himself and stewed. I don’t believe a man who has given his entire life to coaching young men to excellence lacks the moral core to be deeply disturbed by something like this.

For those boys and for Joe Paterno’s sake, I wish he’d had the courage to ask more questions, confront the person whose been accused of these acts, make sure it couldn’t continue, act in the best interests of those who couldn’t protect themselves. In a similar situation, I hope I do.

Coach Paterno let a lot of people down—most of all, the boys Sandusky had access to. I know he didn’t mean to. And with the life he’s lived, this failure of courage is not indicative of every decision he’s ever made. But it was a failure. And it will taint his legacy.

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Boots on the Ground

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I work for Man in the Mirror. Our vision is for every church to disciple every man. So we basically work with churches in any way we can to train up leaders, equip them with resources they can use to reach and disciple men, and provide support and encouragement to pastors.

Here's the thing: I'll often go and conduct a training for 10-20 churches, or conduct a men's event for 50 or 250 guys. And then the same thing happens every single time: I leave.

Man in the Mirror celebrated its 25th Anniversary earlier this year with a banquet. We invited Bruce Wilkinson to come speak, and he offered to spend some time with our staff and executive team beforehand and talk about vision.

He queried us about what might be keeping us from achieveing our vision -- EVERY church discipling EVERY man is a tall order!

We knew the answer. We've known it for 10 years. The problem is what happens at the end of every interaction we have with churches and leaders. We leave. To solve the problem, someone needs to stick around and help these churches and leaders do the hard work of implementing the strategy that we help them develop. We need "boots on the ground."

How many, Bruce asked. How many would it take?

We felt like maybe one leader for every 1,000 churches would be a good start - this also happens to coincide with about one per every million people. Or about 330.

Bruce said, That's what you need! You need to find that "one in a million" person. 

Of course, you can imagine our reaction: "Who? Us?" To which he basically responded, If not you, who?

That was the beginning of our efforts to recruit 330 Area Directors to work in 1,000-church territories around the country, recruiting leaders to help them work with churches who want to reach and disciple EVERY man they can.

We're looking for those "one in a million" people. Maybe you're one of them. Maybe you know someone who is. Go to this site: www.mimareadirectors.org and poke around. Watch the video, read the job description, see what "A Day in the Life of an Area Director" might be like. Then, if it's for you, click on the link to Take the Next Step.

Do me a favor: Share this blog post or the link above with someone you know who is passionate about men's discipleship and might consider a career change to do it full time.

Let's help every church disciple every man.

Book Review: Nelson's Biblical Cyclopedic Index: The Best Bible Subject Index Ever

I received this book from Nelson as part of their BookSneeze program. I enjoyed reading though it, and am happy to write a review of it.

This reference book has a lot going for it. It's compact and comprehensive, covering a ton of subject areas. However, these two characteristics together bring out its weakness. It's not particularly deep in any of its subject areas. So if you are a lay person who is building a reference library to help you in your own Bible Study, this is a great addition to that library. If you're a pastor or scholar, you've likely already got all of this information - and tons more - in your library.

Boulderpalooza 2011!

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What a difference a year makes!


Last year, Cassidy and I went to Gainesville Rock Gym for Boulderpalooza in great climbing shape. I won men's beginner, and she would have won advanced, but got bumped to Open and finished 4th.


This year, we were both out of climbing shape for sure. She finished out of the top 3 in Advanced, and I took 3rd in beginner, although I climbed pretty poorly. It's 2 days later and my forearms are still in agony! 


Good news is we had a fantastic time. Neither of us expected to do well, so the competition was much more about having fun. I also just enjoyed spending the day with my daughter. She didn't climb with me much, but we had a couple hours on either side for the ride up and back. A great time talking on the way back especially, as we discussed her future with school and what's going on with church and friends. 


Just an awesome all-around day with my teen-aged daughter. I am fully aware that there are less and less of those opportunities available. So I am grabbing every one I can!


I was pretty proud of the kids from our gym team too. They won all the adult male divisions, and one of the female adult divisions, as well as juniors. Way to go Team Aiguille!!!


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As long as Christ is preached...

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Have you ever questioned someone's motives for preaching the gospel? Been a little suspicious or even critical of their motives? I have, for sure.

Paul didn't care. 

It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice. (Phil 1:15-18, written from imprisonment)

I can't tell you the number of times I see other people getting notoriety within Christendom that I don't feel jealous or cynical about their "success." It is a sign of my own pride, for sure. But having a higher focus - on seeing the gospel spread instead of getting credit for it - not only is more righteous, but a better way to live my life.


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Book Review - Living Life in the Zone

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Got this book to read by a freind of the ministry, Joe Pettigrew, and his friend and well-known sports personality, Kyle Rote, Jr. I'm reviewing it here for the BookSneeze program.

Living Life in the Zone is a good devotional book for men who are just starting out in their spiritual journey. There are four sections which cover the basic four areas of a Christian man's life: marriage, children, work and faith.

It is definitely oriented to the sports-minded guy. Each devotion has a key thought, a quote or text on a topic, some Biblical content and insight, questions for journaling or discussion, a call to action and prayer. It's basic biblical stuff, and maybe even a little too much at times for the type of guy who will be most interested in this type of book. But if a guy will stick with it, he will most likely find himself wanting to go deeper and deeper in his relationship with God.

A good, solid, basic devotional book with lots of sports references.

Buy it at http://tinyurl.com/2buswwk (Amazon)

The Marriage Prayer

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Spent the weekend in Houston. Got to share The Marriage Prayer at Friendswood Methodist with about a dozen couples on Friday night. It reminded me of the great scene from The Princess Bride...



On a serious note, The Marriage Prayer is a book, an evening couples event and an actual prayer. It reminds us of the importance of praying for our spouse every day, and of several keys to marriage:

Faithfulness, which brings security
Priority, that after God, our spouse should be our top priority
Purpose, to bring our spouse into God's presence
Unity, because we are one flesh
Attitude, we should encourage our spouse daily
and the Goal of Marriage - to bring God glory.

 I really enjoyed being with those couples and sharing about the struggles and triumphs in my own marriage.

But the GREATEST part of doing these is it reminds me how blessed I am to have a really, really wonderful wife.

The Clemmer family, Summer '10

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